Lessons on Leadership and Love from Legendary Lacrosse Coach Jonathan Scott

All In, All the Time

For Jonathan Scott lacrosse is more than just a sport; it is a tradition, a means of teaching and a reflection of the way we treat each other. Having been a coach for most of his life and spending four decades playing the game, Scott has had a wide experience of it, including in prep schools, college programs, national tournaments and youth leagues. H

e is also a consultant in crisis communications, a former congressional candidate and a lecturer on leadership, and believes that at its heart coaching is an everyday act of service. Yet underlying all of that experience is a basic belief: if you get to know your players and show them love you can save a life.

Each season Scott begins by teaching his players about the history of lacrosse, going back to the Haudenosaunee nations, who developed the sport as a "medicine game". He retells the tale of the mouse, who was rejected because he was too small to be on the mammals' side, until the owl gave him wings and allowed him to join the birds—and it was the bat that ended up winning the game. "The point is," Scott says, "it makes no difference how small you are, where you come from, or who you are; the sport was intended for everybody from the start.

That sense of belonging still motivates me, particularly in a sport which has for a long time had a reputation for being wealthy, white, and exclusive. I have an obligation to teach the history," he says, "because if we forget it, then we forget who the sport was meant for and what it really is about."

His approach to leadership is based on what he calls service leadership, teaching captains to lead by looking after and supporting their teammates rather than policing them. "Once boys have been elected captains," he says, "we have a discussion with them about the idea of it being a service role. You're going to have to deal with some of the boys who are your friends in order to protect those who aren't." He gives examples of upperclassmen who had refused to go to a party even though they knew it wasn't safe, yet had still told the first-year students, "If anything goes wrong, here's my number, just call me, and I'll come get you." He makes it clear that this isn't a matter of hierarchy, but of trust and knowing your team has your back.

Even when there are instances of breaking the rules or of conflict, Scott stresses the importance of teaching rather than punishment. He has in mind a situation in which a player was caught breaking a team rule on a hotel trip; instead of separating the player from the team, he gathered the entire team to think about why the rule is important, because it stands for respect, safety, and trust. "The essence of leadership is to show people that you care about them," he says, "and if they know that you care about them, they'll go through a wall for you."

The experience that had the greatest influence on him arose out of a difficult situation. Following an incident in which a player was exposed during a game in Philadelphia, Scott got a text message in the middle of the night saying, "I think I'm bi or gay or something." So they stayed up talking until two in the morning. The player was going through a tough time, was considering suicide, and was frightened that his coach would turn him down. Scott, who had previously stood candidates for Congress as a member of the Republican Party, tells his players, "If you only have three minutes left to live because things are so bleak, then I want you to give me those three minutes. I'll turn those three minutes into five, and then on to a lifetime." That player is still alive today and Scott says that he has made that promise eleven times since. "It really boils down to showing love," he says in a quiet voice. "Every single day you have the opportunity as a coach to make a child's life or break it."

Scott tells his players that lacrosse is a gift from the Creator and that before each game they should play as an act of gratitude, honoring the people, the stories, and the ancestors who made the sport possible. He has also made his own mistakes, sometimes being too strict, too proud, or too eager to prove himself. "Do I regret some of the methods I've used? Probably yes," he says. "But if we are reflective and want to improve, we have to accept the circumstances and move forward with them." He remembers an older player who came back years later to tell him, "I didn't want you to think that you'd done everything wrong." ​

Even after forty years, Jonathan Scott has always regarded coaching as the best job in the world. The advice he would give to his younger self is straightforward: stay fully committed at all times. “In sport, just as in life, you can't pretend to be committed, compassionate, or loving.”